What is the best ROI for my relationship?
You’re engaged in a relationship, maybe even married. You may be separated, contemplating divorce or reconciling. You want to do something but are unsure where to spend your limited energy, time and money. You want to make an impact! It’s very understandable. I’d like to recommend that you attend a couples workshop in person, The
Art & Science of Love
, developed by Dr. John Gottman & Dr. Julie Gottman. It is your best investment. As a relationship expert and student, I understand the importance of DIY learning and application. I’m a fan! You could say I’m obsessed. After the pandemic we all have adapted to a new reality that is reminiscent of 1984, where we learn from teachers via screens. We’ve survived. This is sometimes the easiest, least disruptive method to use. We learn some valuable lessons! If that is what you and your partner prefer, then go for it. What couples love about the workshop
Podcasts, online courses – they all have their pros and cons. As a presenter of “Art and Science of Love”, a couples workshop that I consider to be the best, let me share some of the obvious benefits of this workshop.
At every workshop couples arrive separately or together. They are nervous and excited. They choose their “best place” for sound, view and comfort. We find it funny how “professional” and formal most couples are at 8:30 on the first day. We ask that phones be turned off or silenced. We begin by introducing the participants, sharing their personal stories, and letting them know what they can expect over the next two days. To lay the foundation, we launch into an engaging and fun presentation of the morning’s research. We can tell from the audience which people were “dragged” to this session and which are excited and hopeful. We can identify newlyweds that will not benefit from Day 2’s conflict management because they don’t “fight”. Sometimes we are wrong when we think we know who will have the hardest time. We are always amazed by the couples! What to expect from presenters
We engage with everyone in the room, with eye contact and smiles. We answer questions, clarify points, and draw them in. We warn them not to put their partner under the “bus” by asking questions or making comments in a room of strangers. We break. A breath of relief. A pause. We introduce the skill, demonstrate it, and then release couples to practice with their partner, 1 on 1. We don’t do large groups of work! We encourage couples to be connected. We see an obvious softening by the end the day 1 morning. There are giggles and chuckles. These couples are genuinely committed to improving their relationship! Top 4 benefits of an in-person experience
1. The absence of distractions
So many of our couples are leading very busy lives and barely have time to see each other, much less have a meaningful conversation with each other. Over 40 workshops that I have presented, the feedback is that it feels like an intense date to reacquaint couples with each other. The couples’ and presenters’ energy is contagious. Each group is unique. Each group shares some common concerns and questions, but also has its own unique ones. Chances are, if you’re too shy to pose a question yourself, someone will do it for you. Or they may be close enough to encourage you to ask another question. This way, the workshop is tailored to your group’s needs. You’re the focus! Support from a therapist! At the workshop, you will get extra support, clarification, guidance, and help by Certified Gottman Therapists, as needed. This can be in the group, or during breaks, when you and/or your partner have questions about one of the exercises. We also assess for distress and offer extra support where possible. Alternative to Therapy
For some couples, attending the Live workshop allows them to get a feel for the presenters’ style and personality without having to commit to a therapy course. It is easier to reach out later for help if needed. For many couples, a workshop may be all they need. They can then take it further. It gives everyone, even if they decide to move forward later, a common language to use.
Final thoughts
