The Introvert’s Guide to Successful Relationships
It can be overwhelming to be an introvert in a relationship. Having to express yourself and share your inner world with your partner may feel outside of your comfort zone, but it is an essential part of a happy and healthy relationship.
What it means to be an introvert
Introverts tend to have a lot of thought processes happening without as many corresponding social interactions and behaviors. It is possible that they will withdraw from social situations, especially when more than two people are present. According to psychiatrist Carl Jung, introverts are more likely to withdraw from social situations when they feel stressed. They also find that these interactions energize them. According to psychiatrist Carl Jung here are some characteristics associated with being introverted:
Withdrawal under stress
- Careful balancing of considerations when making decisions
- Preference for internal thought process versus external interactions
- Inclination towards spending time alone or in quieter spaces with just a couple people
- The impact on your relationship
Introverts prefer to be in their own internal worlds. This is because introverts are constantly thinking about and discussing external events. This type of internal dialogue can harm a relationship, even though it has many benefits. This behavior can lead to a number of problems.
You may or may Not be Correct in the way you assign motives and intentions to events that may have occurred.
You may not be holding your partner in the positive perspective or giving them the benefit of the doubt
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- Introvert’s Guide to a Successful Relationship
- 1. Increase your friendship
- Here is one tool to increase your friendship and positivity with your partner.
- Use the Love Map card deck to better understand your partner’s world and for them to know yours. Pay special attention to the cards that address how you enjoy spending your free time so it doesn’t become that elephant in the room.
Remember your partner is the one person that you need to be friends with. It is important to talk about your different interests and social situations so that no one feels left out. You and your partner both enjoy socializing with large groups, but you would rather spend a quiet evening in at home or go out for dinner. This is when you use the art of compromise.
Maybe you go out to a party but you ask your partner to not leave you by yourself. You could invite only one couple to dinner and go out. There are lots of possibilities, but the important piece is that you have open dialogue about it so that you both get your needs met and don’t feel resentful of each other.
The benefit of increasing your friendship
When you are good friends with your partner, you don’t always need to go out and socialize with others. Even if you partner is an introvert, they’ll enjoy spending time together. Build in rituals
Rituals of connections are the small moments of connection with your partner. Using the card decks pay special attention to these cards:
Bringing friends into our home
Celebrating success/holidays
Renewing ourselves when we are burned out
The benefit of rituals
If you are emotionally connected to one another, you can go your separate ways on occasion and feel comfortable doing so. You could stay at home to watch your favorite TV show while your partner is out with work friends. It’s not a good idea to do this all the time, but it can sometimes be beneficial. Protect your relationship
Here is one tool to use to protect your relationship from outside stress.
- The stress reducing conversation is a 15-20 minute talk that you have on a daily basis with your partner. This conversation usually takes place when you arrive home after work. It is important to get to know each other and to share your day. You can also invite your partner to discuss something stressful that has happened (not related to you). You are only required to listen, validate and support your partner’s experience and feelings. Then they will do the same for you.
- The benefit of protecting your relationship
- What this does is create a sense of we-ness and reduces the stress level of each partner so that it does not negatively impact the relationship. It may seem difficult, but your role is simply to validate and listen to your partner’s emotions. Remember holding onto stress and ruminating about it will be bad for your health and well-being and ultimately that of your relationship.
Once you have habitualized this talk, you may find that you that you actually enjoy it!
4. Manage conflict
Just by not talking about your problems, they won’t go away. Couples who avoid discussing their problems tend to be emotionally distant and end up divorced. Because their disconnection is gradual but insidious, they are able to “last” longer than high-conflict couples who are volatile. Being able to avoid conversations about problems and conflict can often times result in prolonged suffering.
Use these six skills when talking about a conflict situation, and when (not if) a regrettable incident happens make sure you process it afterwards. This is how to do it. If you follow this recipe you will navigate your conflict effectively, repair any damage done during an argument, and strengthen your relationship.
The benefit of managing conflict
Stop suffering alone. Conflict can be an opportunity to connect. You will feel closer to your partner if you understand their point of view, even if you disagree with it. When you feel seen and heard by your partner, you will feel a greater sense of emotional well-being.
The need for connection
Being an introvert does not mean you don’t need other people. You probably form close relationships with only a few people. You may feel exhausted at times when you are around other people. It is crucial to consider this when it comes to the relationship you have with your spouse or partner. You don’t need to be so exhausted that you just want to leave your partner alone. Your relationship with your spouse/partner is a major source of health and happiness. The introvert’s Guide to a Successful Relationship will help you strengthen your friendship through conflict and tension. These Gottman tools can lead to a satisfying relationship for both extroverts and introverts.
