Did I Raise A Brat? Do I Raise A Brat?
We all want to give our children more than what we did when we were young. Social media allows them to see what other children have, which feeds the desire to be like their peers. In The Price of Privilege, Dr. Madeline Levine writes:
“America’s newly identified at-risk group is preteens and teens from affluent, well-educated families.
They experience among the highest rates of depression
substance abuse, anxiety disorders, somatic complaints & unhappiness for any group of children in the country.” The Warning Signs…
In The Price of Privilege Dr. Madeline Levine writes:
“America’s newly identified at-risk group is preteens and teens from affluent, well-educated families.
In spite of their economic and social advantages, they experience among the highest rates of depression, substance abuse, anxiety disorders, somatic complaints, and unhappiness of any group of children in the country
.”
The Warning Signs…Experts warn that overly-indulged children can develop a toxic combination of traits:
Entitlement – Believing they deserve special treatment simply for existing. The warning signs…
Experts warn that overindulged children can develop a toxic combination of traits:Entitlement –
Believing they deserve special treatment simply for existing. ‘Why should I work for it?’
Disconnect from Reality
– Oblivious to the everyday struggles of ordinary people. It’s not my issue. They should just get a job.’
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Inability to Cope
– Having been shielded from adversity, minor setbacks feel catastrophic. ‘My life is ruined!’
Giving Up Easily-
If they don’t experience success right away, they quit.
Teens from affluent, well-educated families may seem to have it all on the surface. But underneath there can exist profound unhappiness, anxiety, and substance abuse issues, encased in the bubble of privilege.
Raising Resilient, Grounded Teenagers
So how can parents avoid these dangers? Parenting researcher Dr. John Gottman emphasizes these key principles when it comes to parenting teens:
Validate Emotions Over Achievements
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‘You don’t have to be perfect to be loved.’ Praise character and working hard over appearance and results.
Instill a work ethic by assigning chores and encouraging a summer job.
Help them find a path to purpose-process with questions, stories of people living with purpose and start fanning the sparks you see.
Build their emotional intelligence through Emotion Coaching, a key parenting activity. It is a predictor of success.
Learn how to set limits with teens while giving them a space to explore and make decisions on their own.
Aim for 8-9 hours a night – this makes a huge difference for growing brains01001010Help you teen navigate peer relationships.01001010Encourage Community Service01001010Expose them to other ways of life and different communities. Encourage community service01001010Explore other ways of life and different communities. Your attention and care are more valuable than any material possession. The most important resource is emotional and relational.01001010The paradox is that the privilege meant to give kids a head start in life can become anchors weighing them down. Parents can raise balanced, happy youth by ensuring that they are grounded in values such as resilience, humility, and compassion. 01001010Gottman’s research shows that providing emotional guidance, attunement and nurturing to all children is vital, regardless of their socioeconomic status. These elements are essential to privilege, but without them, youth can be emotionally lost despite having material wealth. Gottman’s parenting techniques provide a blueprint to raise resilient, grounded individuals who are prepared for the challenges of life. The research also shows that emotional and relational wealth are more valuable to a child than material wealth. 01001010
