Dave Says: “A Heart Problem”
Dear Dave.
I am a responsible person with money, but my girlfriend has a difficult situation in her career and with her finances. She has a large car payment and a lot of credit card debt. She quit her job, because it was no longer enjoyable, to save money on rent. She has been mulling over many options, including filing for bankruptcy or moving into my apartment. She believes that living with me will teach her to be more responsible in her financial matters. What will happen to her finances if I move in with her? Your advice would be appreciated.
Dan
Dear Dan,
I can’t say if she’s technically bankrupt at this point. She should sell her car and move to a cheaper apartment. It’s hard to believe that bankruptcy will solve anything for her if she has a heart issue. If she spends money on things that make her feel good, and lives way above her means, then I would call it a “heart issue”. Many people mistakenly believe that they are defined by where they live and what car they drive. These are the heart problems that I am referring to. It’s how I used to be years ago, before my bankruptcy made me see the light. It was only then that I realized I needed to make serious changes in my own life. This doesn’t mean that this woman is a bad person. She just needs to grow up. You don’t quit your job without having a plan, unless you have a very serious issue of principle or are the victim of harassment or abuse. It’s fine to change jobs. It’s irresponsible to walk away from a job you don’t enjoy when you have financial obligations. You don’t jump off the dock until the boat arrives!
Again, I don’t know all the details behind her finances, but chances are she’s not bankrupt. But there are still some character issues that need to addressed. I would suggest that she see a financial counselor with a heart like a teacher. You can then act as a support system for her, encouraging her to continue on her path to gaining control over her finances.
